POEMS

I'll add as life goes

Summer was spent in a daze

Trying to forget the things you said to me

In between the liquor and the moonlight

I pretended not to care

Though I was startled every time

I heard you call my name

Summer was spent far from your gaze

Almost amazed at how much freedom loneliness gave away

I heard your knock at dawn

But as I looked out the window

With the sun still too timid to come through

I decided to part ways with the notion

That our conversations were anything more than your loneliness

Attempting to reach out

To mine

A year after you left
I still found myself collecting buttons
I still wash behind my ears
Exactly as you taught me
But I still can’t whistle
Because we never got past that first lesson
5 years after you left
I used that hand trick at a party
And told my friends a joke you had exhausted on me
It’s been 11 years since you left
And I still put 3 spoons of sugar in every drink I make
I learned to like sparkling water
I now have a jar full of buttons
And a notebook of jokes
Even after all of this time
When I look in the mirror
I still see traces of your smile
Maybe this is what they meant when they said nothing ever truly goes away
The pain just gets easier to bear
And even when I can no longer remember the sound of your voice
Your perfume still lingers in the jacket I stole
Over a decade ago

skin that stretches

contorts

and deflates

skin that touches

smells

and tastes

muscles that breathe

contract

and love

muscles that stiff

contradict

and come off

bones that break

shiver

and ache

for this body is so wonderful

and so fragile and gentle

wanting to feel it all

but too much I tremble

I can’t stand

with legs

that don’t bend

so I sit alone

waiting

to gain back my throne

in this mind that deflates

smells

and tastes

that loves

contradicts

and breaks

this body that aches

in agony to be faced

but before I can say

my words weight

and all becomes just another insignificant day

as this body slowly decimates

For what is worth, in my immortal soul

Can I buy you peace or should I trade you war

Things that go through my head as a reminder of my anger

Can I pass without a Drachma

Or should I offer something else

In this hell of world Fire seems like nothing

In this heaven of dreams

Flying away seems impossible

Can I stay? Or would it be too hard to look me in the eyes?

Should I stay inside this very home that ignited the flames of my anger

With this paving your head

I’ll leave you at that

Is it peace or war

Is it me or more